Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating

Experiencing signs of cheating in a relationship can be traumatic to go through. It is especially hard when the cheating is proven true. Many people are unaware of a cheating partner, but others may suspect infidelity due to actions of their significant other that are out of the norm.

Here are some of the actions that should be seen as a red flag and therefore could be possible signs of cheating.

Changes in Communication

A breakdown in communication is never positive and is one of the biggest signs of cheating. If you are finding it hard to get your partner to communicate with you, there is likely an underlying issue. The following signs are examples of a cheating partner:

• They ignore what you say.
• Changes the subject to avoid uncomfortable topics.
• Comes up with reasons why they cannot talk.
• Refuses to answer questions.
• Makes accusations rather than talking about the problem.
• Uses dismissive body language (such as eye rolling).

Appearance and Hobbies

There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and developing new hobbies while in a relationship. However, when they are combined with other suspicious behaviours, the following changes may be signs of cheating in a relationship and imply you have a cheating partner.

• They are dressing nicer or have a sudden increase in interest in their appearance.
• They pick up a new hobby that takes up a lot of their time. When you show interest in it, they brush you off.
• Your partner is working longer hours at work.

Attitude Changes

A change in your partner’s attitude can be linked to many possible problems, but they should also be seen as a red flag. The following might be signs of infidelity — but do not forget they could also signal other issues.

• They exhibit signs of low self-esteem.
• You notice your significant other has a sense of confusion about themselves.
• They are more negative than before.
• They become more critical of you.
• They seem to be picking fights.
• They get very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.
• When you ask for reassurance about cheating, they do not give it to you.

Lying and Avoidance:

Dishonesty in a marriage or any relationship is a red flag. These avoidance strategies may indicate that your spouse may be cheating.

• You feel as if you are being avoided.
• They do not want to do things with you anymore.
• You find your partner has been lying to you about small things.
• Your partner seems more secretive.
• Your partner's wandering eye seems out of control.
• They accuse you of cheating on them.

Indifference

When your significant other shows a lack of interest in things that they used to love, communicate with them to see if there is another reason for the change in engagement. Nevertheless, if you also suspect infidelity, these changes may be a further indication of an affair.

• Your spouse seems bored with you or even life in general.
• They have become lazy, especially around the house.
• They don't show any jealousy towards you, no matter what you say.
• They are indifferent to family events like birthdays.

Changes in Your Sex Life

It is common for there to be fluctuations in the frequency of sex in your relationship. However, the following can be signs of cheating in a relationship.

• There is less intimacy or connection in your relationship.
• Your sex life is practically non-existent.
• There are new things introduced in sex that have never been done before.
• You have contracted an STI or STD but have not slept with anyone other than your significant other. (Major red flag!)

A Change in Technology Use

Infidelity is often revealed online, in text messages, or in phone calls. These technical changes may give you hints that you are with a cheating partner.

• Your significant other is unreachable at certain times of the day.
• Your partner may have changed their password or will not share it with you.
• They are always texting or privately taking phone calls.
• They clear the browser history on your shared devices.
• Their fitness tracker shows exercise at odd times and hours.

What to do if your partner is showing signs of cheating?

In most cases, even when you confront your partner with accusations of cheating, it will be denied. Unless you have hard evidence and proof, many cheating partners will not admit to infidelity.

There are a few ways that you can tell if your significant other is lying to you. If you keep getting denial and pushback when trying to discuss your concerns with your partner, you may need to get professional help to sort things out, as this is a big red flag. A couples' counsellor will be neutral and can help you gain insight into what exactly is going on in your relationship. If your partner refuses to attend, consider individual counselling to help support yourself through this hard time.

If the thoughts are becoming too much, and your partner is not giving you the reassurance you need, then it may be best to end the relationship. The most important thing here is your own mental health and happiness. You should not have to put up with feeling constant anxiety and stress. Even if your partner has not cheated, the signs they are showing are not healthy in any relationship, loyal or not.

How 9in10 can help

If you suspect that you have a cheating partner, 9in10 could help you find answers and let your mind rest. Our service allows you to import your partner’s phone number(s), and you will get a match with another user if they have entered the same number too. This is a red flag and shows that your partner is not being loyal and is in contact with another user who feels suspicious of them.